Received an email to check for a status update to my application

I received a call from the admissions committee today. They informed me that I was the worst applicant who had ever applied to Stanford CS in the history of the program. They were planning on rejecting me but the ghost of Leland Stanford appeared in Gates and began following professors around, telling them that if they don't accept me, all of their future grants will be denied with little to no feedback. The professors called an emergency meeting and decided that given the circumstances it would be best to give me an offer. I am however debating whether to accept this offer or instead a promising one from Grand Canyon University.

6969696969 (THAT'S WRITE i gamed my gre score to have 69s ur mom) ummmm so i like woke up this morning, and this snAIL is like knoking on my windoe with its little eye thiing and im like okie what OWO ;-; its rly early but i then opened the snails shell and it was a letter from Jack leland stanford, the love child of jane and leland (ya they had a 3rd, polyamory yikes). so i am like "ok jack, go off" and jack was like "ok rubberduckysquishy, we noticed htat u had a 169 on ur gre and 69 is my favorite position so we thought that u would be so good for the comooter science phd, ok bai" i was like "omg this is sooooOOOOOO crazy. i can't believe i got into standford !!!!11 i then proceeded to call up jill, jane's twin sister who had an affair with jack (i know its aunt and nephew) and she told me she was the one who got me in." ANNIE WEIGHS ya im in and u l053rs aren't

3 interviews

email: "Thank you for your interest in the PGSP-Stanford PsyD Consortium. It is with deep regret that we must inform you that we cannot offer you an interview for the Consortium this year... With approximately 640 applicants and only 30 openings, we are forced to make fine distinctions among applicants."

*DISREGARD STATUS* Has anyone heard from PGSP-Stanford PsyD?!?!

Third rejection in a row...feels bad man

Omfg I was literally waiting for this… super excited…see you soon Stanford!!!!!

A marginal fit, so I'm not broken-hearted.

Email to check the portal.